The Self

What is
the Self?

The American Psychology Association defines self as:

n. the totality of an individual, consisting of all characteristic attributes, conscious and unconscious, mental and physical.

While the self is defined in various ways across the worlds of psychology and philosophy, my interpretation is this: The Self meaning, the entirety of an individual that consists of all personal traits and attributes (mental, physical, spiritual and emotional) that are intertwined deep within the roots, consciously and subconsciously. In my eyes, a conscious thought or action is provoked with intention or premeditation. When I say subconscious, I believe that the thought or action is an automatic, organic, or instinctive response.

Moreover, the Self is the person that you define yourself as.

It’s your most authentic you.

It’s the person that you consider yourself to be, as a whole.

The Problem:
The Inauthentic Self

It took me a while to land here, what I mean by that is: it took me a long time to actually love the person that I am.

Have you ever attended a wedding and you can literally feel in your soul that the bride and/or groom knows in their heart that they aren't meant to be with that person they're tying the knot with? If that doesn't resonate with you, let's get a bit more raw: Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that you knew wasn't the right person? Your head hit the pillow at night and you thought about someone else? Have you ever taken on a responsibility (that you do not want) because it was expected by your parents for you to do- let's say... buy the family business, adopt their political views, move close to them? Perhaps you've taken on a business deal due to pressure from your business partner, but it doesn't actually align with your core values?

Trigger warning: I believe that a lot of people just go through the motions & stick to what's familiar. Many people are completely disconnected from their truth. Those individuals that I described above end up with the wrong partner that they may eventually divorce, cheat on or become a stranger to. Those individuals end up taking on the identity of one of their parents, only to lose themselves in the process. Those individuals play it safe and stick to what's familiar, while letting go of their deepest dreams.

Those individuals end up living an inauthentic life.

There's no judgement here, I simply recognize their struggle.

I used to be one of those individuals. I didn't know my Self.

I spent the majority of my early adulthood living, what I would consider, a very inauthentic life. My goals, views, and intentions were all constructed by a distasteful recipe of self-destructive behaviors, conforming to the desires of my external world, and the deathly trap of my comfort zone. I was stuck in unhealthy cycles that I didn't understand and there was nothing real about the way that I was living. I wasn't happy and I was exhausted from just trying to just get by. I eventually hit rock bottom and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I had choices to make when I hit rock bottom. Rock bottom presented forks in the road:

I could choose to survive in chaos, or I could choose to live with purpose.

I could choose to view my glass as half empty, or I could choose to view it as half full.

I could choose to ignore my inner voice, or I could choose to leverage my voice to create positive change.

I could choose to neglect my inner child, or I could choose to befriend her and heal.

I could choose to continue self-destructing, or I could choose to manage my grief.

I could choose to live a fake life designed by my external world, or I could choose to live a life authentic to me.

I chose authenticity.

The Solution:
An Intentional Journey Back to Your True Self

My commitment to my personal journey back to the most authentic version of my Self is one that I cherish. I am passionate about sharing the process that I've created. The path is not always linear, but it's honest and effective. My exercises, tools and resources are ingrained in my Mindset & Empowerment Coaching, alongside what I like to call: Self-Sabotage Detox.

I believe that the internal work that I do is the type of work that cannot be skipped.

If everyone does it, everyone benefits. Period.

Guess what?

You also have the power to step into the most authentic version of You.

The magic resides in the darkest places.

Let's light the candle together & follow the light back to your most authentic Self.